Trauma and Grief Support: 10 Ways to Care for Yourself Now!
I wrote this article in the days that followed Sydney's violent tragedy last Sunday, which understandably shook many people and communities. Though I write in the moment, these reflections are not just about one event.
Trauma and grief arrive in many ways.
They come after public tragedies that dominate the news. Personal loss, sudden change, illness, violence, or moments of broken safety can also quietly trigger trauma and grief in ways that others may never witness. The body does not separate public grief from private grief. It responds to shock, loss, and threat in the same human ways.
If you have been feeling unsettled, more anxious, emotionally raw, or strangely numb lately, this article is for you.
When the world no longer feels safe
After witnessing or hearing about violent or distressing events, many people notice changes in themselves. You might feel more alert in public spaces, more protective of loved ones, more worn out than usual, or disconnected from your emotions. You may discover it harder to concentrate or settle.
These are common trauma responses. They are not signs of weakness. They are signs that your nervous system has registered danger or loss.
Trauma and grief are not things you simply get over. They are experiences that need care, time, and support.
Here are 10 ways to take care of yourself during these difficult times that you may find helpful:
1. Acknowledge the impact without minimising it
One of the most common reactions after tragedy or loss is telling yourself that you should not be this affected. That it did not happen to you. That others have it worse.
But witnessing harm or feeling that safety has been violated can be traumatising in its own right. If recent events or personal loss have affected you, that response deserves acknowledgement. Naming the impact helps your system settle. It allows your experience to be held rather than pushed aside.
2. Notice how trauma and grief are showing up in your body
Trauma often speaks through the body before it makes sense emotionally. You might notice tightness in your chest, shallow breathing, restlessness, fatigue, or numbness. Some people feel slowed down. Others feel constantly on edge.
Rather than analysing it, start by noting it. Place a hand on your body. Slow your breathing. Ask what your body needs right now. Rest, gentle movement, warmth, or stillness can all support emotional regulation during trauma and grief.
3. Lower expectations and reduce pressure
Grief and trauma take up internal space. They draw on emotional and physical energy, even when you are not consciously thinking about them. This can make everyday tasks feel harder than usual.
Lowering expectations is not failure. It is self-care. Allow yourself to do less where you can. This applies whether your grief is connected to a public tragedy or something deeply personal. Healing happens when there is enough space to rest.
4. Create small moments of safety and grounding
Safety does not always mean feeling calm or positive. Often it means familiarity and predictability. Small grounding practices help your nervous system feel steadier.
This might be sitting in the same place each morning, holding a warm drink, listening to familiar music, or returning to a simple routine. These small signals of safety matter more than we realise during times of emotional distress.
5. Stay connected in ways that feel manageable
Connection is important during grief and trauma, but it does not need to be intense or emotionally demanding. You do not owe anyone a full explanation of how you are feeling.
Connection can be a short message, a shared walk, or quiet company. Choose connection that feels steady rather than draining. Protecting your energy is part of looking after your mental health.
6. Limit exposure to news and social media
After distressing events, many people find themselves repeatedly checking news updates or scrolling through commentary. While staying informed can feel important, constant exposure to traumatic content can overwhelm your nervous system.
Limiting your intake is not avoidance. It is regulation. Choose specific times to check the news, mute accounts that increase distress, or take breaks from social media. This can significantly reduce anxiety and emotional overload during trauma and grief.
7. Notice coping behaviours without judgement
During times of stress, many people numb or distract themselves. This might include excessive scrolling, drinking more, overworking, or staying constantly busy.
These behaviours are not failures. They are attempts to cope. Gently noticing them allows you to ask whether they are helping or leaving you more depleted. Awareness creates choice. Compassion creates space for healthier coping.
8. Allow grief to take its own form
Grief is not always sadness. It can appear as anger, fear, irritability, exhaustion, or emotional shutdown. It can come in waves or sit quietly in the background.
Grief related to public tragedy, personal loss, or long-held trauma all deserve the same respect. There is no correct way to grieve and no timeline you need to follow.
9. Keep gentle structure in your days
While rest is essential, having no structure at all can sometimes make things feel heavier. Simple routines can offer stability when life feels uncertain.
Regular meals, getting outside, and consistent sleep patterns can help your body feel held. Think of structure as support, not discipline.
10. Seek professional support when it feels right
Trauma and grief are not meant to be carried alone. Counselling offers a space where you do not need to protect others, minimise your experience, or use the right words.
Whether your distress is linked to a public tragedy or private loss, professional support can help you process what has happened in a safe and steady way.
A final reflection
If recent events or personal experiences have left you feeling shaken, heavy, or changed, your response makes sense. You are not broken. You are responding to something that matters.
This article was written in response to a moment of collective shock, but its message is broader. Trauma and grief are part of being human. Care, patience, and connection are what help us live with them.
You are allowed to slow down. You are allowed to need support. Taking this one step at a time is enough.
Shaun
