Counselling for Anxiety: My Best Tips to Find Calm and Clarity
For years I thought anxiety meant something was wrong with me. I would lie awake at night, replaying conversations, with a constant dull ache in my chest, and analysing every situation, even ones that had not happened yet. On the outside I looked composed. Inside I was exhausted, burning energy and battling the thoughts that fuelled my anxiety.
Coming out later in life taught me how much energy it takes to hide. Every choice was filtered through fear of rejection and the pressure to appear fine. When I began Bent Couch Counselling, that same anxiety returned in new clothes: fear of failure, fear of being seen, and fear of not being enough. It reminded me how common these feelings are for people living with constant self-doubt.
What I have learnt, and what I now share with my clients, is that anxiety is not the enemy. It is often a signal that you care deeply about the life you are creating. Through LGBTQIA+ affirming counselling and gentle, practical approaches, I have seen how patience and care can transform anxiety into clarity, confidence, and connection.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Anxiety: Facing Fear with Evidence
When anxiety shows up, it often disguises itself as truth. I discovered this through cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), one of the most effective methods for anxiety counselling. CBT helped me notice how quickly my thoughts jumped to conclusions such as, ‘I will embarrass myself, or everyone is judging me.’
In CBT, we test those thoughts rather than believe them. By asking questions like “What is the evidence for this?” or “Have I felt this before and still managed?” we can challenge the power of anxious thinking. Over time, anxious thoughts become less convincing, and confidence grows.
For example, a client once believed that speaking up at work would make others think he was foolish. Through CBT, he realised that anxiety was predicting a worst-case scenario, not a fact. With small steps and evidence from his own experience, he began contributing more openly and felt calmer over time.
Cognitive behavioural therapy offers practical ways to manage anxiety, not by ignoring fear, but by responding to it with logic, compassion, and courage.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Learning to Move Forward
While CBT helps you challenge anxious thoughts, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) teaches you to live alongside them without losing sight of what matters most.
Anxiety often convinces us that we must wait until it disappears before taking action. ACT offers a different truth: life can move forward even when anxiety comes with us. It focuses on mindfulness, values, and self-compassion.
For one client, this meant attending a family event despite the urge to stay home. For another, it meant being honest about his feelings in a relationship. Each small act of courage built a sense of freedom and calm.
ACT reminds us that the goal is not to erase anxiety but to create space for it; to breathe, acknowledge it, and keep living in line with what matters most. Through anxiety counselling in Melbourne and online sessions across Australia, this approach helps people reclaim their lives with kindness and clarity.
Trauma-Informed Counselling: Healing the Roots of Anxiety
Anxiety often grows from past experiences that left us feeling unsafe, unseen, or unheard. Trauma-informed counselling recognises that the body can hold these memories long after the mind has tried to move on.
In my own journey, I realised that moments of rejection or shame from the past could still echo years later. For many clients, anxiety is not just about current stress; it is the body’s way of protecting itself from being hurt again.
Trauma-informed therapy helps you slow down and rebuild safety. Grounding, breathing, and gentle awareness of how anxiety feels in the body can help you understand it, rather than fear it. This process restores trust in yourself and in others.
Whether through LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy or anxiety counselling in Melbourne, this approach is about compassion, not correction. Healing begins when safety replaces shame.
Community and Connection: The Power of Being Seen
Anxiety often convinces us that we are alone. Yet healing happens through connection.
When I started Community Couch Conversations, I saw how sharing experiences in a safe, affirming space changed everything. Men who had carried silent worries began to realise that others understood exactly what they were feeling. The moment we feel seen, anxiety starts to lose its hold.
You do not have to talk in a group to experience this shift. Building small connections, talking to a trusted friend, having a support network, or discussing with an affirming counsellor can restore calm and confidence. Human connection is one of the most powerful ways to soothe anxiety and rediscover belonging.
Everyday Strategies to Support Calm and Balance
Anxiety can feel complicated, but progress often begins with simple, consistent habits. Over time, these small steps build resilience and peace.
Grounding and breathing: Slow, steady breathing tells your body you are safe. Focusing on sensations like your feet on the floor or air moving through your lungs can anchor you.
Sleep and routine: A regular bedtime and morning routine bring stability to an anxious mind.
Boundaries: Saying no when needed protects your energy and creates space for recovery.
Values reflection: Ask yourself, what matters most to me right now? When your actions match your values, anxiety has less room to grow.
Gentle self-compassion: Speak to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend.
These everyday practices, combined with counselling, help anxiety feel less like a storm and more like a signal guiding you toward calm, care, and clarity.
Note to Self: Slow Is Still Progress
One of the greatest lessons anxiety has taught me is that healing cannot be rushed. There is strength in slowing down.
I often remind my clients that progress is not about speed; it is about intention. This reflection stays close to me:
It is not
“I must get rid of my anxiety right now.”
It is
“I am learning to move with it, slowly and with care, while building something that lasts.”
When I began Bent Couch Counselling, I felt pressure to do everything perfectly. Over time, I realised that real growth – whether in therapy, relationships, or personal well-being – comes from patience, compassion, and consistency.
For the people I work with, this shift often changes everything. Slowing down does not mean failure. It means presence. It means creating something beautiful and lasting, one calm step at a time.
Why I Believe in Counselling for Anxiety
Anxiety can make even the strongest people question their worth and direction. Counselling offers a safe, affirming space to slow down, feel understood, and rebuild confidence.
For many gay and queer men, it may be the first time they can speak freely about fear, relationships, or identity without judgement. Through LGBTQIA+ affirming counselling, we work together to replace shame with self-acceptance and fear with understanding.
At Bent Couch Counselling, I believe healing starts with honesty and connection. Whether through anxiety counselling in Melbourne or online sessions across Australia, the message is simple: you do not need to have it all figured out to begin.
Counselling reminds us that growth is not about perfection; it is about presence. When you show up with honesty and care, anxiety begins to soften, and calm begins to return.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How can counselling help with anxiety?
Counselling provides a safe and supportive space to explore your thoughts and patterns. With approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy, you can understand anxiety, challenge unhelpful thinking, and create new habits that build calm.
2. What if I feel nervous about starting counselling?
That feeling is completely normal. Beginning counselling is a sign of courage, not weakness. You will set the pace together so that sessions always feel safe and comfortable.
3. What are Community Couch Conversations?
Community Couch Conversations are small, supportive groups for gay and queer men across Australia. They offer a chance to connect, share, and realise that you are not alone in your experiences.
4. Do you offer online counselling?
Yes. I provide online sessions for clients anywhere in Australia, using the same supportive, affirming approach offered in person in Melbourne.
5. How do I start?
You can book a free discovery call to talk about your goals and explore how counselling can help.
If anxiety is affecting your well-being, you do not need to face it alone. Together, we can explore gentle, evidence-based ways to find calm, clarity, and connection.
Book Your Free Discovery Call Here
Shaun
